Why Does He Want to Be Friends if He Doesn’t Want to Date You? -

Why Does He Want to Be Friends if He Doesn’t Want to Date You?

Description: You think you’ve found someone special, but he doesn’t want to date you, saying that he wants to remain friends.

Countless women are in the same dilemma, waiting for a love that doesn’t seem to materialize any time soon. Is it us or them? Let’s figure this out.

Finding someone you’d like to build relationships with on hookupsites isn’t easy. Moreover, it is quite tricky to define whether the guy you’re on a date with is interested in a relationship or just friendship.

If you were on lots of dates without success, you’d have probably thought of how to get your best friend to date you since he looks like a more viable option for your love life at this point.

Or, maybe you have genuine feelings for him, and you want to be more than friends.

Whatever the reason, like many women, you’re most likely wondering whether your next date will be more successful than previous ones, or why the guy you like so much wants to be friends with you.

If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. Many women have found themselves caught up in the same situation.

So, if he has shown signs he wants to date you but is hung up on wanting to be friends, keep on reading – we’ll tell you why he’s beating around the bush.

  1. He Won’t Date Because He Has Commitment Phobia

Suppose you’ve gone on a date with a guy before; he flirted with you and showed that he wanted to be more than friends.

Then he tells you otherwise; you’re likely dealing with a commitment-phobe.

One straightforward way of telling if the guy you want to date is a commitment-phobe is he’ll date a lot, but he won’t commit to anyone he’s seeing.

There could be a couple of reasons why he may have commitment issues.

One of them is that he could have been cheated on before and doesn’t want to go through the same. Other signs include:

  • He has many female friends
  • Has never been in a relationship before
  • He doesn’t invest emotionally in women
  • All the dates he goes to never progress to anything meaningful
  • Casual relationships are his thing


If fear of commitment is why he doesn’t want to advance your relationship, consider having a conversation with him. If he isn’t ready to get past his fears, you should consider trying to date someone else rather than hoping that he will change.

  1. There’s a Fear of Ruining the Friendship

Dating after friendships is a little tricky. If he is your friend, and you want to learn how to make him want to date you, you should consider his feelings. Why?

There are some benefits of a relationship that buds from a friendship. For instance, you will avoid having an awkward first date.

But think about fostering a relationship with your friend sincerely –how uncomfortable can it get when it’s time to be intimate?

Besides, your friend could want something more than a friendship, but the chances are that they are also aware of the possibility that dating you could ruin your connection, especially if you’ve been friends for ages.

Turning a friendship into a relationship isn’t an easy thing to do, and very few people can successfully do this.

But, if you can get past that, nothing should stop either of you.

3. He Wants to Keep You Around

Well, this shouldn’t be a surprise to you. If you are wondering how to know if a guy wants to date you, you should know that he’ll tell you in most cases.

Or, he’ll show you obvious signs.

He will keep you around without clear signs of wanting to be in a relationship with you for the simple reason that he wants to keep you by his side.

No, he doesn’t hate you. Most likely, he doesn’t find you to be a good match for him romantically, so he feels he should be with someone else.

When he finds the girl he thinks is a better match, he’ll immediately out any plans he had with you and go on a date with this new person.

Unfortunately, this is how humans are. We tend to cling to people and things as far as they can serve us as we wish.

Once this happens, we quickly abandon them and move on to other people/things.

Sometimes, we push people away because we feel that they smother us, and once we’ve met someone else, we try to move on as fast as we can.

So, if you’ve been wondering why the guy you want to date doesn’t want to cross the ‘friendship’ line, it’s because he hasn’t found a reason to let you go.

Remember that it’s not that there’s anything repulsive about going on a date with you; your guy friend wants you to stop being possessive of him and asking him for what he can’t give you.


We wanted to share something interesting about dating your friend. Hopefully, you’ve learned a thing or two concerning why that guy wants to be nothing but friends.

Try to prioritize your own needs, and don’t make the other person feel guilty about his genuine feelings.

After all, there’s no reason why you should be someone else’s plan B. Why do you think that guy you like wants to be “just friends”? Tell us in the comments below.

Author bio:

Aria Green is a family photographer, relationship psychology writer. A wife and a mother of two adorable kids who won’t get bored even for a minute.

As for a writing passion, she loves personality psychology, helping people with advice on the relationship between a man and a woman.


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