After spending a minimum of 8 hours sitting at work every day, its no surprise that many of us experience back pain occasionally.
But what happens when this back pain coincides with the nights when you and your partner want to have sex? Would sexual activity make your back pain worse?
Or is it possible to alter your sexual routine slightly to ensure that your back is not further injured and you can still get to enjoy getting intimate with your partner? Judging your pain
If you’ve been experiencing back pain for an extended period, any vigorous activity could make it a lot worse.
You should consult a doctor and start making lifestyle changes – it’s the only way to make sure your overall health (and yes, your sex life too) doesn’t suffer in the long run.
If your backache is from sitting at work for long hours and in the early stages, here are a few things you can start doing immediately:
- Adjust your work chair to what is ideal for your body.
- Lift your screen to be in line with your eyesight.
- Get up every 30 minutes and stretch your legs and back.
- Maintain a healthy body weight.
- Get 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.
- While sitting, ensure good posture.
- Include 30 minutes of exercise into your daily routine.
Your back is a large body part – your pain could be at the top, in the middle or lower down and be worse when you’re bending or when you stretch backwards.
It’s important to first understand what works for your body to determine which sex position would work best for you.
Sex positions for men who suffer from lower back pain
A study titled “Male Spine Motion During Coitus”, published in the journal Spine recommends the following two sexual positions for male patients suffering from lower back pain.
But if your back pain is exacerbated when you stretch backwards, these wouldn’t work for you.
Doggy style with a variation
Doggy style is one sex position that needs no explanation but this one includes a slight variation. The variation involves the woman being on her elbows and knees which would alter the angle of thrusting as well as the position of the spine in the man.
Yes, missionary is the second-best option for you if you experience lower back pain. Goes to show that sometimes the simplest option is the best solution. So have your partner lie down on the bed comfortably and support yourself on your hand (and not elbows) on top of her.
Your partner can keep their knees bent on the side. Don’t be tempted to place their legs on your shoulder. This could add to the back strain.
Sex positions for women who suffer from lower back pain
Another study, published in the European Spine Journal in 2015, looked at the impact of different sex positions on lower back pain in women.
Again, this wouldn’t hold true for you if your back pain increases when you extend your spine backwards. However, the following are the two positions the recommended.
This one is the basic doggy position without the variation – which means you can be on your hands and knees with your partner behind you.
Nothing is super strict though, so feel free to play around with a pillow under your knees, taking the support of the headboard or even trying it on a different surface, like the foot of the bed or a table.
According to the study, being on your side during sex puts the least amount of pressure on your spine and can be much more relaxing than some other positions where your back is bent inwards or outwards.
So get on the bed on your side with your knees slightly bent and have your partner enter you from behind. It’s an easy position that requires very little effort but if it gets boring, make sure you put your hands to work to make it exciting again.
Some easy sex tips for couples
The studies don’t provide a solution to your problem – the sex position suggestion might only help with not making your back pain worse.
Here are a few other things that will go hand-in-hand to reduce the effect of your back pain on your sex life:
You can’t keep your back problems a secret from your partner, and especially not if sex with them is causing them to be worse. You may have a very energetic sex life that you don’t want to disrupt but you could be causing permanent harm by not talking about it.
And it’s not all about sex – if you clue in your partner on what’s going on with you, they’ll be able to motivate you to adopt healthier habits and postures that’ll make a huge difference in the long run.
Like the suggestion about getting up from your chair every 30 minutes, you should also keep switching the angle and position during sexual intercourse every few minutes.
If you feel the need to take a break but don’t want to let the mood fade, try oral sex positions that aren’t based on thrusting and can be much easier on your back.
A hot shower with your partner can kill two birds with a single stone – it’ll help ease the tension in your muscles and increase arousal at the same time. You can also try a soothing back massage with warm oil.
Take turns in giving each other a massage but don’t get carried away and try new techniques that may do more harm than good. Keep it simple and sensual.
Exercising with your partner can help make the sex a lot better, not just because you’ll both be fitter but also because shared activities can strengthen the intimate bond you share.
Ask your partner if they would be willing to try couples yoga or even just going to the gym with you every other day. Their support may help you stick to your fitness routine too and proffer your love for each other.