Masturbation and the art of self-pleasuring will always be a touchy subject to a Nigerian public that likes to delude itself as one upholding the grand pillars of piety.
People [read as many men] get extra-pressed when the subject trickles down to the sub-category of female masturbation and women taking matters of their orgasms into their own hands [see what I did there?].
That’s why it was unsurprising that so many people lost their heads when Toke Makinwa broached the topic in a recent Youtube video and took a very self-first approach to the whole thing.
Off that whole fiasco, and of course, because we love hearing gist and feeling the Pulse of the public on matters like this one, we hollered at 5 women who were more than willing to talk to us about what Toke’s video means to them and their personal experiences with self-stimulation. [The women spoke anonymously, so all names have been changed.]
Lol. My boyfriend actually got me a Bullet vibrator that was purple and cute before he traveled back to the US in June 2019. But I no longer use it because he’s now around. Using it was a really nice experience tbh. It was like one huge sexually liberating event. My first orgasm was actually from myself. But it was just like a substitute dick. Main dick is back so I’m kinda done with it for now.
My outlook and expectation when it comes to sex didn’t change much because of that vibrator, not gonna lie, but I want to explore other sex toys. Lol. I can’t get it from Nigeria though. My boyfriend bought a bunch of really cool and fun sex toys but his luggage was stolen in the hotel he stayed before he left the US.
On a scale of 10-100, I think I’ll rate my understanding of my body 110 tbh. Lol. I’ve explored almost everything I need to, I know how to get myself to orgasm with my fingers, how to get my man to make me orgasm, I’m aware of all the parts of my body that give me sexual pleasure. Lol. I don’t want to be too explicit but yeah, I know my body that much.
“Sex toys are great when you understand what works perfectly. My only experience with a vibrator was not as grand as I expected. It was a sort of pleasure-pain experience that I found too intense.”
“A dildo on the other hand is pretty much basic standard and needs no tutorial even for newbies.”
“Well… I don’t have a dildo or any kind of sex toy but Toke is right. I think it’s OK to pleasure one’s self, know exactly what you want and what works for your body. 5 years ago, I taught my ex how to make me orgasm. Trust me, it changed everything.
“I know my body on like 90%. I know what makes me tick, what arouses me, what I’m comfortable with. For instance, no fingering… I hate it. Some of you lads think that shit works on everybody but naaah please abeg.
“I’ve been pleasuring myself for years now… doesn’t mean I wouldn’t mind a toy at some point although I have never really thought about the kind of toy I’d like. I just know shii [self-pleasure] gets tedious sometimes so I wouldn’t mind someone else doing all that work.”
“Toke dinnor lie o. Like she said, no one knows your body better than you do and if you don’t know what works for you, Baba will do and go and you’re just there unsatisfied. Not used any sex toy before but I’ve been thinking about getting one. My fingers do the work for now.
“Okay, I don’t have much experience with the men so what I am comparing with is limited but so far for me, self-pleasure fares better. Maybe because I am only just coming into that part of knowing my body and what works for me. I think I only understand my body like 55% now.
“Anyway sha, self-pleasure is better for me cos I know exactly what I am working at to give me what I want but in terms of being with a guy and penetration, it’s so much work telling him to do this, do that and all plus you guys ain’t patient. You feel because you been dey do am for long, una sabi the thing but no be so.
“I can’t say I know of any disadvantage for now but if bobo has sense sha, he gats engage babe to know what to do and what not and maybe incorporate the sex toy in the act too. I mean, we both get pleasure and leave the place satisfied.”
“I never expected that Toke video to make that much sense. Before I started, I was already giving my phone a mental side-eye, like what rubbish is this babe about to say again, but!!! There’s actually nothing she said that isn’t right.
“I mean, I think people need to start talking. It’s things that happen to people on a steady, like every damn day. In their marriages, outside their marriages and whatnot and like every single thing she said is right.
“It’s ridiculous when you’re talking with people; when you sit down and listen to people’s experiences and you hear the things they go through, like, it’s mind-blowing, it’s absolutely mind-blowing.
“I was even going to get some of these toys for my friends as an end of the party gift or something but they cost a lost so… you know, I decided to calm down and not stress my purse.
“So again every word is true. Although I have never engaged in self-stimulation or ever used a sex toy, and even though my understanding of my body is just like 10%, I still believe that you need to properly understand yourself in order to properly explain [or teach someone else].
“If you don’t understand yourself, you can explain to people who you are and what you are about so yeah. Completely agree. For the first time ever since Toke has been saying a lot of things, 100%. I endorse it.”